Search Results for: look out

Look Out!

look-outAnother simple bread crumb moment!

Reflecting on these moments; that have been dropped throughout my life reminds me that she, my highest self, has always been guiding me. Each time I write about another of these moments, I’m picking up the breadcrumb and studying them…finding it’s guidance and feeling my wonder and surprise that she exists!!!

OK, enough with the wonder…. this time after finishing dinner at a major city harbor side restaurant I stood to gaze thru the floor to ceiling, sparkling clean windows at the water and surrounding piers. I felt a gentle, tingling energy that was inside me and in front of me. Now, I know it was her, my highest self, giving me a taste of the future. The future sensation included a knowing that I would be living looking out large windows onto water.

My smarty pants brain got busy analyzing this one, saying how this intuitive moment isn’t remotely possible, to live overlooking water anywhere on the surrounding shores you need money. I shrugged the whole thing off.

Of course, her guidance was accurate…. because for the last 5 years I have lived in a cottage that has large glass windows looking out on water.

She, my highest self, is such a smarty pants……

Look Mom, I Won the Lottery!


LotteryTwo years after my mother died, I wanted a fun way to acknowledge her birthday. It had to be something simple, something fun, something easy, and something I did on my own. After creating my brainstorm list, one idea hit the mark!

In life, my mother was a HUGE fan of lottery scratch tickets. Something I often and happily judged and made fun of her for. I had no idea why it was so appealing. Most likely she wouldn’t win anything and it was messy….all those little bits of black, waxy, scraps all over her shirt. I can only guess that she felt excited gambling. Maybe she daydreamed of striking it rich. Maybe it was an opportunity to make an ordinary or boring day thrilling. For whatever reason, she was wwaaaayyy into it!

In honor of her birthday and obsession, I decided to buy one scratch lottery ticket for the month, day, century, and year she was born. Buying the one that correlated with her month cost a dollar so I bought two tickets. Seventeen is her birthdate and this lottery ticket cost twenty dollars. I couldn’t justify paying twenty dollars for a lottery scratch ticket. I knew I would need to suck it up, eventually, since this was the agreement I made to honor her birthday, but not quite yet. I moved onto buying the lottery scratch tickets for her century and last two digits of her year. I pushed them into my bag and returned to the list of errands on my To Do list.

With my errands finished, I got busy eagerly scratching the lottery tickets.  I scratched the tickets that represented the month she was born. I won nothing, nada, zip, zero. I did think she was being unfair! I mean my mother is in heaven… can’t she just make me a bit of a winner for fun…. jeez.

I scratched another ticket and again nothing. Since my mother has “appeared” so often after her death (her appearances are chronicled in Stairway to Heaven, Dimes Not Pennies from Heaven, Treasure! That’s What You Are! posts), I thought she would love this idea and play along. But she wasn’t playing along.

After I won nothing from the ticket that represented her century, I decided to “yell” at her. Mind you, I’m sitting in the car in a strip mall parking lot having this experience….and I yell something like “jeez ma, really, I’m not going to win anything!” She was listening to my pleas because I won ten dollars on the next tix. Exciting!

Still needing to buy a ticket that represented her birthdate, I drove to the nearest 7/11 and used the ten dollars I won to buy the final ticket. Things were beginning to improve because in this store, her birthdate ticket number was only ten dollars not twenty like in the first store.

As I scratched the last ticket, I won ten dollars and then ten more dollars, and then another ten, and another…. Woo Hoo! Next, an X appeared instead of number. If you get an X you can double your winnings. My winnings were doubled! The last number was the bonus number … as I scratched it uncovering the number beneath…another winner. I won about 300.00!

Thanks, Mom!

And Happy Birthday! 😉


Mind Pictures – Inside and Outside

the-cabinAs I have grown more familiar with spirit, she, sends me mind pictures. They are quick flashes of information that I believe come from my soul as guidance and gratitude for listening to her. For years, when they would intermittently appear I didn’t pay attention. But as I learn how spirit works I understand that these mind pictures come to guide me.

Recently, the mind picture was of a woman standing in crusty snow piles looking thru a perfectly clean and clear cabin window. The snow woman wasn’t cold; she felt certain and confident in her understanding of life. What she saw in the window was a person who looked just like her. The woman was inside a cozy cabin that had a large fire blazing and a solid, hand-made round wooden table. The woman inside the cabin felt gentle, open, with a heart led confidence.

Decoding these messages used to prove daunting until I started to use a dream dictionary. I would look at the dream dictionary meaning to identify and name what felt true for me. If it didn’t feel true I just moved on. Mostly, I was looking to see how something felt and what could be revealed to me that I didn’t currently know about myself.

My interpretation of this mind picture…….


–          These ladies are both aspects of me. One conventional and one soulful.

–          Each aspect is interested in the other. It’s a respectful, curious relationship.

–          It’s showing me the difference between a conventional type of confidence (clear, certain, head led)

–          And a soulful type of confidence (open, gentle, heart led)

–          The settings are showing me that the conventional confidence feels cold (snow, unsheltered)

–          And the soulful confidence is warm (fireplace), inclusive (round table) and provides easy and simple shelter (the cabin)

Right now, I feel like spirit is showing me the benefits of a soulful intelligence while teaching me what it is and what it does for me. The conventional confidence is familiar. The familiarity feels good. It is guiding me to the benefits of a soulful intelligence. Following this intelligence is warmer, inclusive, and gives me emotional and quite possibly physical or material shelter.

I wonder what else the symbolism is telling me…….

Unbreakable Joy Wins Liebster Award

the-liebster-award-badgeI am thrilled to be nominated for the Liebster Award by Susan Gleissner from This Big Wild World. It’s my first blog award so it’s extra special. The Liebster Award recognizes new bloggers for their impact on the blogging community. Also, it’s a great chance to build connections to strengthen the community.

Thanks so much Susan!

Readers be sure to check out her blog This Big Wild World. Super interesting!

As part of the nomination there are questions to be answered to learn more about the newly nominated blogger. Here are my answers to Susan’s questions.

questionsandanswers1)    Where do you call home?

I live along the coast in New England; Massachusetts. It’s a riverside and seaside town named Newburyport. It’s filled with hip and casual restaurants, beautiful views all year long, and the warmest and most lovely people.

2)    What was the last random act of kindness you did?

It is being appreciative of how people care for me, both friends and strangers.

3)    What are you most thankful for?

Family I like, fun and interesting friends, courage, champagne, sunsets, storms (rain or snow), humorous and light-hearted people, yoga, meditation, independence, physical health, mental health, my beautiful and talented niece, my daily coffee shop, beaches, frosting, pinot noir, silence

4)    What are you currently working on to improve for yourself or your blog?

I’m currently working with Brittany Antonjevic to grow my blog into a business. Working with her minimizes the time I spend researching. We are working on changing my hosting site and discussing ways to monetize. Also, I keep a list of writing ideas and monetizing ideas. I’m trying to determine the blog’s focus.

5) What advice would you give someone who wants to start a blog?

– Just start. I knew I wanted to write about my intuition although I didn’t know what I would do with the stories. I just started with a post about each time intuition was speaking to me. It grows and changes as life happens.

-Have space for what appears. Being new to blogging I didn’t know there were awards, challenges, and groups to join. Because I made space for the unknown, I have made interesting blog friends and written about things I never would have considered. The people and topics have enriched my life.

-Edit. Proofread. Edit. Proofread. Publish your best effort. I still catch mistakes even though I proofread…over and over and over.

-Keep your posts short. It can be more meaningful and memorable.

-Search any question you have. I have learned about SEO, Monetization, Social Media, etc. because I searched via the question in my head. Examples-How do I monetize my blog? When is the best time to start to monetize my blog? How do I increase my readership? What is SEO? Why should I care about SEO?

-Join Facebook Groups. Great way to get answers to questions. Learn what is successful and what is frustrating. Reaching out eases the pain and shares the joy!

-Grow an authentic Twitter following by finding the most popular people in your niche. Follow them and their followers.

-Use Word Press Reader to meet bloggers in your niche. Make authentic contacts. Share a post or your blog if it makes sense.

-I’ll stop here! It can be overwhelming. There are so many things you can do…Just do one at a time!


ebbony & lune. This lifestyle blog about music reads like a ballad. Be sure to check out how she created the name.

Captivating Compass. You will be part of learning and traveling adventures.

Insideoutgirl. She takes common moments and turns them into meaningful lessons.

Shutters and Honey. A peaceful looking blog with helpful thoughts, travel experiences, photography, and recipes.

the skincare pharmD. Being a lover of face masks and healthy ways to take care of skin I had to include this lovely and informative blog.

My Patchwork Homestead. The name alone is cozy. The blog is a patchwork. Check it out and she will tell you what patchwork means.

Little House on the Big Pond. It’s all about living off the land. Even if you are a city person reading about this bloggers land living experiences you will feel like you are in the country.

Frugal Fiesta. Including a way to save money was a must. She has great ideas. I found one I’m gonna try!


Write a blog post in acceptance of your award. Link the blog post back to Unbreakable Joy Intuition Tales. Answer the questions below.

  1. Nominate at least 5 other startup bloggers with a following of 1,000 or less
  2. Include a list of questions you’d like them to answer
  3. Notify your nominees


What is your most meaningful blogging moment?

What do you feel when push publish?

What would you like to write about that you haven’t written yet?

If you had a thousand dollars to give away, what would you do with it? Why?

What are three of the best things about yourself?

Lastly, I’ve enjoyed the recognition This Big Wild World has given me. It was a great opportunity to check out blogs. Loved it!



7 Magical Lessons Learned from a Guru named Kindness – Kindness Challenge

kindness guruFor the past 7 weeks, I’ve been exploring kindness as part of Niki Meadow’s Kindness Challenge from her blog The Richness of the Simple Life. I’ve had unexpected and magical experiences. Here is what a Guru named Kindness has taught me!

1.Week 1’s kindness act involved self–love.  I learned that self-love is the act of sincerely listening to my personal truth; all of IT, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Respectfully listening loosens and frees the bad, accepts the ugly, and salutes the good.

This sometimes brutal, sometimes reassuring honesty reflexively aligns me with my soul’s truth. Self-love means loving my peace filled soul messages as much as loving my unhealed battered, broken parts. This self-loving causes a deliberate, meaningful, feeling of alignment. Lionel Richie accompanied my discoveries in All You Need is Love, Sweet Love.

2.The loving effects of Self-Compassion was our work for Week 2. While researching self-compassion was complicated the ultimate result was simple. Quietly shifting my attention toward compassion for myself slowly raised the loving and healing feelings while diminishing all negative feelings. The Wizard of Oz’s Glinda the Good Witch was the wise and available teacher of self-compassion in my post I’ll Get You My Pretty! Not. You can read how Glinda stood by my side until my complete attention was transferred from self-criticism to self-compassion.

3. Week 3’s goal was self-acceptance. Focusing on self-acceptance surprisingly invited a hidden part of myself that took advantage of the opening that self-acceptance created. An unhealthy belief was safely brought out of hiding to be healed. My constant unconscious and unhealthy behavior of looking outside myself for the support, encouragement, validation, and recognition that I didn’t receive as a child was the unhealthy habit. I was missing the people and places in my life who were providing what I needed to be whole.  I received images to guide me to this healing. The images are detailed in Ssshhh…..The Soul Is Speaking.

4. I was out looking for kindness role models for Week 4. I quickly learned that my attitude is what makes the difference. This excerpt from Coffee, Dark, gets to the point, “But, as I sip my satisfying hot coffee and munch on my whole wheat bagel with peanut butter…in a sea of kindness role models, I can’t identify kind behavior and don’t feel the safety, warmth, and joyfulness of kindness. As I look around this hubbub of coffee drinking all I can feel is a cranky, irritated, got up on the wrong side of the bed kind of feelin’. I can’t fully identify the kindness role models and see their loving and generous behavior because my dark, cranky self has blocked the lovely energy and blinds me to all the goodness I’m sitting in the middle of.  To find kindness role models I must bring my openness and kindness to the table. Lesson learned!”

5. Week 5’s kindness challenge task was to choose kindness. The significant lesson was learned by not choosing it in a moment that was ripe. Knowing that I could’ve easily been kind and didn’t take the opportunity is not a pleasurable way to learn. The quote “Release the joy that is inside another and you will release the joy that is inside of you.” Is what we could have experienced if I had done things differently in Choosing Kindness Shares Joy.

6. Giving Kindness without Expectation was the goal for Week 6. This experience taught me that fulfilling an anonymous kind act accesses my happiness. The joy of kindness obviously feels good but so does the anonymity. This anonymity had its own fun reward.

7. Our last assignment for Week 7 was noticing kindness. A magical event took place in Kindness Counts. By shifting from my negative judgmental head space into witnessing people around me being kind I learned that complete focus on someone’s kind act dissolves negativity and any negativity energy in the room.

Being part of this challenge has delivered a deep understanding of how kindness creates a more loving, peaceful, fun life. And who doesn’t want more of that! Be kind!

Coffee, Dark – Kindness Challenge, Week 4

coffee dark Week 4 of the Kindness Challenge is all about Kindness Role Models. Those people of a friendly, considerate, and generous nature who we can imitate…if, we are open.

I spend time each day in a cozy, warm, and friendly coffee shop in a boat yard on a river. The staff and owners playfully chide me about something or other or we chat about what is happening lately in our riverside town. The regulars, I’m one of them, exchange pleasantries and heart felt interest in the big and small expected and planned changes in a person’s life. There is a playful and energetic hum of customer conversations and customer and staff interactions. Obviously, this environment has a good vibe. The people are good people. It’s the norm. A norm that I enjoy and I’m grateful for. Clearly, I place where I can find a long list of kindness role models.

But, as I sip my satisfying hot coffee and munch on my whole wheat bagel with peanut butter…in a sea of kindness role models, I can’t identify kind behavior and don’t feel the safety, warmth, and joyfulness of kindness. As I look around this hubbub of coffee drinking all I can feel is a cranky, irritated, got up on the wrong side of the bed kinda feelin’. I can’t fully identify the kindness role models and see their loving and generous behavior because my dark, cranky self has blocked the lovely energy and blinds me to all the goodness I’m sitting in the middle of.  To find kindness role models, I must bring my openness and kindness to the table. Lesson learned!


Sshhh…The Soul is Speaking Kindness Challenge, Week 3


 The image of Glinda the Good Witch from my Week 2 post, I’ll Get You My Pretty! Not. and Lionel Ritchie’s song Sweet Love, from the Week 1 post All You Need Is Love, Sweet Love guided me throughout those weeks of the Kindness Challenge. This week they created room for an iconic flower image that flashed briefly in my mind.  A very beautiful, pink, and white lotus flower gently and naturally unrolled its petals to symbolically impart wisdom about self – acceptance. The lotus flower is best known as an Eastern religion symbol. The Hindu Religion’s use of the Lotus Flower symbolizes peace and eternity. While to the Buddhists the beautiful lotus represents a long list of spiritual and human experiences from enlightenment, to patience, to rising from suffering.
My human task this week was to intrepret the message of my soul’s symbolism that was flashed in my mind’s eye. While my soul was sending me symbolic wisdom via the well-known lotus blossom, I also received a mind image that represented an unhealthy subconscious belief that needed to be named, explored, and accepted. The image, is a tarp that is rooted into the ground. The sturdy tarp arches from left to right. It’s then secured to a solidified rope with an eye hook fastener.
When my soul image appears, I can’t instantly make sense of it.  So, I become quiet and sit with the image to take an imprint of my feelings. With that done, I bust out my computer as well as my dream book “The Mystical Magical Marvelous World of Dreams” by Wilda B. Tanner to learn all the possible meanings of the image’s objects. These tools coupled with enormous patience buoys me as I begin to discover the genuine meaning of my soul messages. This is what I learned!
The eyehook fastener means catch all, the tent means an insecure state of mind, lastly the rope means a means to an end. I intuitively understand my catch all idea (eyehook) and my means to an end (rope) is creating my insecure state of mind (tent). This symbolism feels truthful and magically accesses the belief that needs healing. The symbols I defined and the unhealthy feeling associated with them connect me to my intense behavior of constantly hunting down an income source. While the conventional world applauds this behavior, my soul wants me to know…it ain’t workin’!  While deep inside of me I absorb this message, my thinking brain is exceedingly confused. Instead of trying to convince my thinking mind, I just move on to the lotus flower.
The Lotus Flower Symbolism page teaches me that the beautiful lotus grows from murky mud to blossom a top the water. This quote best explains the lotus blossom lesson, “Just like the lotus flower, we too have the ability to rise from the mud, bloom out of the darkness, and radiate out into the world.”- author unknown.
With my detective work concluded, the image’s messages are clear, not muddy at all. I live in the mud when I believe that repetitively hunting for income is the soundest and solitary path. The opening lotus expresses that I need to rise above this muddy belief to live my life with enlightenment.
So, from the self-acceptance work of Week 3, I have accepted the unhealthy part that robotically pecks away to look for income. I have accepted my lotus flower’s inner wisdom that guides me to break a cycle and heal an unhealthy belief. I have accepted the personal growth and healing power of listening to the messages of my soul’s images.
Most significantly, I accept that self-acceptance is a meaningful, healing avenue for authentic livin’.

I’ll Get You My Pretty! Not. Kindness Challenge, Week 2

selfCompassionGrim, that is how the Kindness Challenge’s self-compassion week felt! Self-love week was joyous while unloved and unseen parts bathed themselves in self-love, enjoying the warmth and healing. But self-compassion the sacred act of suffering with the suffering parts of myself; totally sucked!

To support and encourage the suffering parts, I required a “face” of self-compassion. A familiar icon that personifies hope so my barely mobile suffering parts have a guru to crawl toward, to look at, to connect to self-compassion’s healing powers.

Having faith that an idea would emerge, I returned to my daily tasks. With a few twists of her magic wand somewhere from my subconscious she created an opening and emerged. It was the famous Dorothy’s compassionate and guiding force along the Yellow Brick Road en route to the Wizard of Oz. Glinda the Good Witch.glindaselfcompassion

Glinda was the perfect self-compassion guru! She was present, loving, peaceful, and wise. She gently shared wisdom while radiating confidence in Dorothy’s innate intelligence to untangle her disorientation. I hired Glinda! She was now the face of my self-compassion.

With Glinda The Good Witch on board, I bravely confronted my wicked witch part that criticized me bitterly, judgmentally, and was rage filled. The infinite criticism stopped me in my tracks because I believed my wicked witch! This critical wicked witch filled my stomach with pain and body with paralysis.

Glinda The Good Witch of my self-compassion ascended wearing her ball gown, twisting her magic wand while her tiara sparkled. I felt an encouraging shift as Glinda and my self-compassion arrived. The paralysis was melting. The wicked witch of criticism was so righteous and self-centered she didn’t see self-compassion also known as Glinda silently emerging.

Once my mind’s eye glimpsed Glinda surfacing in the periphery, I internally shifted my attention toward her. The simple act of placing my attention on Glinda slowly diminished the wicked witch’s voice and rage filled energy. Glinda’s compassionate energy took root within me. I sensed my task was to remain focused on Glinda’s compassion. This simple act of sliding my attention away from my critical wicked witch would cause her nasty effects to fade. Glinda stood by my side until my complete attention was transferred from self-criticism to self-compassion.

With my face turned toward Glinda, she gently placed her guiding hand on my chin and another on my cheek. She asked me to mentally review my entire day not only a slice of it. To support my imaginary walk thru my day, with reverence and care, she slowly turned my head from the left to the right. I could see the ruins of darkness and anger at my left which was the damage caused by the critical inner wicked witch. The day’s landscape transformed as my head was guided right. There was brightness, a sense of peacefulness, a quiet rhythmic productive feeling, and a necessary sense of relaxation as well.

My self-compassion guru was showing me that my day contained a variety of feelings, mishaps, and accomplishments. This guided tour, made me realize that my inner wicked witch arrives via her broomstick to criticize me when I am hyper focused on a real or imagined unsuccessful event.  Inviting her to stay and listening to my wicked witch’s negative claims is like drinking a potion that shifts my perception away from the rightful day’s events and experiences and turns them into the critical wicked witch’s truth.

When I access, welcome, and live the energy of self-compassion, my critical inner wicked witch melts just like in the Wizard of Oz movie. Her power is stripped in the face of caring and wise self-compassion.

As I ingest this astounding realization of the power of self-compassion, I can hear Glinda say to me as she said to Dorothy…

“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself. “



All You Need is Love, Sweet Love-Kindness Challenge Week 1

KindnessWeek1 SelfloveMy Week 1 Kindness Challenge of Self-love had a theme song. Lionel Richie and his Commodores have randomly and quietly been singing lines of Sweet Love to me over and over and over. I inwardly smile each time this mellow song finds its way into my head. It was comforting, supportive guidance. Let me acquaint you with a few lines from this week’s theme song:


Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Sweet love (Sweet love, well)

I know you’re searchin’

I know you’re searchin’ for a little love

The Commodores were correct, I was searching. Searching for my definition of self-love by starting with questions.   What is self-love?   What actions are self-loving?   When am I feeling self-love but don’t embrace it?   What is the difference between self-loving and self-centered?   When I am self-loving what does my life look like and feel like?   Does my life improve if I live from and with self-love?  Or does my life not improve but instead naturally align to my spiritual truth?

These questions revealed my truth of self-love. During the week, I experienced self-love as a healing balm, guiding wisdom, and a bunch of good feelings! Each morning, I gently reminded myself to feel self-love. I took a moment to imagine an inner emotional landscape being bathed in self-love.  Of course, it felt enjoyable, but it was so much more than that.

It created a world where unhealed emotions, like depression, fear, and hurt came to soothe themselves. The wounds and traumas that birthed these feelings felt safe, loved, and cared for enough to heal. They were called to the self-loving energy and instinctively opened to heal naturally.

This healing experience had the human sensation of the welcoming effects of the first warm summer-like day. When you feel pulled by the sunlight and warm air to drink it all in by taking a walk or sitting outside. It’s a feeling of refreshment, peace, and relaxation. This is how my unhealed feelings felt in the presence of self-love.

I need to go further with this…my repressed parts, or at least some of them, awakened. I felt unnamed hurts that were always carried with me, loosen up and bathe themselves in the presence of self-love.

My energy of self-love wasn’t only healing the suffering it was guiding me toward activities that were self-loving instead of activities that were distracting or mere habits. When I allowed my attention to follow this feeling of self-love it was like it was waving flags to focus my attention toward the self-loving choice. Each choice was an island and self-love confidently, happily, and purposefully waved her flag, next to the most self-loving choice.

I followed self-loves accurate lead. I needed relaxation and soothing by watching Blue Bloods. This family police drama allows me to spend time with a tight-knit family that supports, connects, and cares for each other. Their struggle and insistence on doing what is good heals and acknowledges a part of me.

Thru this relaxing moment with Blue Bloods, I sensed a very young child part that was ready for healing. This young conscientious part must accomplish grown up tasks that she isn’t developmentally equipped to comprehend. Being a pleaser, she insecurely attempts them while searching the adult faces for validation. The adults don’t fill her needs. This innocent moment in time sets the stage for a lifelong unconscious feeling. An unhealthy sensation of anchoring her little feet and stretching herself to live life years ahead of her emotional development. This adult pleasing part always feels emotionally unbalanced and insecure.

This week the young, stretched thin, insecure part of me was raised to consciousness and acknowledged. The energy of self-love pumped a healing balm thru me thanks to the requests of this week’s Kindness Challenge. While this part isn’t freed from the unbalanced and insecure feelings, yet, it is enjoying being seen and out of subconscious hiding. I can only assume that self-love’s energy will fully heal it.

The Commodores, singing this soothing and healing song of Sweet Love to me this week, offered self-love’s silent healing powers a sound and vibration. I guess the Commodores share the wisdom of the human soul and the Beatles….it turns out, it’s true…All You Need is Love!

Messages From and To the Dying

get in lineMy mother’s dementia was progressing. She was acting different. Saying she could see the children lining up, she could see her mother. She would point to where they were standing, lining up, or hanging out. With dementia, her sentence structure was jumbled but when she spoke about the children and her mother she had complete clarity of mind and speech. I sensed that she was preparing for death. I don’t know how I knew. I guessed that the comments that were said calmly and clearly seemed to come from a different part of her.

While speaking to a friend about these experiences, she told me to read Final Gifts. Final Gifts, written by Hospice Workers, Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, noticed when people where close to death they went thru a process. The authors wrote the book to help friends and families of the dying to understand the process and interpret the messages of the dying.

I would love to tell you that I ran out and bought Final Gifts upon the recommendation, but I didn’t. Weeks went by, until I finally called the library to locate the book. With spirit and luck on my side, it arrived the day before a large snowstorm which allowed me to curl up and read for an extended period. I quickly learned that my hunch was correct about my mother making plans for her next journey.

Let’s start with Chapter One. The first chapter, “It’s Time to Get in Line”, are almost the exact words my mother said when startled out of a nap. I was sitting next to her in a common room at the nursing home, while she and another man napped. Without a sound present, they simultaneously woke up with wide eyed expressions. The man was unable to speak but my mother explained, “She needed to get in line.” She wasn’t alarmed. Her speech was crystal clear. Callanan and Patricia say this is a common signal that death is near. It gives the dying and the friends and family of the dying an opportunity to heal, have overdue and much needed conversations, share loving and meaningful stories, and make plans and create instructions for the living. What a gift to understand this message and act upon it.

Another day, while having a repetitive conversation like one does with a dementia patient, my mother suddenly became quiet and stared into the distance. With complete clarity she said, “There is my mother.” while pointing toward what I can only assume was my grandmother, my mother’s mother. I couldn’t see anyone or anything but by the curious and clear look in my mother’s eye she saw her mother. In Chapter Seven, Being in the Presence of Someone Not Alive, the authors delicately and clearly speak about how the dying will see people who have passed on. It’s believed that the dying person is interacting with passed family members, friends, pets, or angels, or even spiritual leaders. During these interactions the dying person is calm, happy even. That was true of my mother’s experience. Besides speaking of seeing her mother often and pointing her out to me, she would mention the children who were lining up. She smiled when she saw them. I wished I could have seen what she was witnessing.


Stairway to Heaven, Reprise

stairway to heaven, repriseI’ve been writing many posts about my mother’s “appearances” since her death. She has been busy communicating in various ways from the heavens.  These posts Stairway to Heaven, The Mother LodePennies Not Dimes From Heaven, Treasure! That’s What You Are!, Look Mom, I Won The Lottery! document her escapades. While the stories happened two years old, my blogging about them recently has made her “reappear”.

A day or so after I posted Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin decided to sing the song to me thru my car radio. Being the generous singer that he is I heard it twice on the same day. The next day, just in case I missed it the first time, I heard Stairway to Heaven, once again.

Standing alone, I believe this is a mystical event but what makes it even more special is that I’m not a regular car radio listener. If the radio is on it’s on scan. The timing had to be perfect! And so it was!

Last Rites

last-ritesI got the call. Not my brother. When all was said and done, it worked out perfectly…

Came home at 930 one night and felt a strong feeling in my stomach that mysteriously communicated that I must go to my bedroom. Starting toward the kitchen instead, I hesitated because, she, my highest self, persisted with her sensation of a deep pool of quiet understanding and knowing at the bottom of my stomach. She was leading me to crawl into bed. I grabbed a couple of magazines, my journal and day timer and headed upstairs. I did as she bade; crawled into bed and started reading. But she, wanted me to put my books aside. I got the message because I felt distaste for the books even though I always read or write before bed. The no reading or writing message felt odd. It made no sense.

I wasn’t resting in the darkness for long when the phone rang…a number I didn’t recognize. Because I felt a little scared having followed my instincts and then having the phone ring, I let it go to voice mail.

My father had been in the hospital during the week….so it’s beginning to make sense. She was preparing me to handle a late-night emergency. The voice mail said my father had a heart attack; you could hear the medical emergency chaos. Quickly responding, I listened to the agitated doctor who had been trying to reach my brother. After calling all his numbers, I shared the news. Stunned and hurriedly gathering himself, my brother telephoned the doctor while rushing out of the house.

As these minutes flew by while simultaneously moving in slow motion she, my highest self, made even more sense to me. She knew I wasn’t as connected to my father as my brother. She knew I needed a few minutes of quiet before receiving the phone call so I could confidently speak to the doctor and gently, quickly, and directly tell my brother the story. My brother was there before my father died, turning his head to take a last look at his son.

When I arrived, my brother was comfortably seated close to my father with a hand placed on his shoulder and his other hand holding my father’s hand. My brother, shoelaces strewn on the floor witnessed his father take his last breaths. Dear reader, you may think I’m callous when I say this, but it was a beautiful site. It was love they were sharing…a blessed moment!

I marvel at the perfection that arose by trusting her guidance.