Plane Ticket Turbulence

airplane ticket turbulanceThe plane tickets…. first, I had them…. then I didn’t, but ultimately, I did! This post is a short one about sharing my spirit’s message with my at-the-time boyfriend. As part of planning to visit him I bought plane tickets through a broker because they were less expensive. The broker had bogus excuses about mailing the tickets I purchased. Obviously, being concerned I told my at-the-time boyfriend about the problem. Concluding our conversation with…. “but I feel like I’ll get them.”

My brain or maybe my ego couldn’t make sense of my spirit’s message. There was no reason for me to believe this plane ticket problem would be fine. But some part of me already knew the outcome and told me about it. I spent a considerable amount of time making calls, staying on the line, and yelling at the person on the other end who had lots of excuses that others must have fallen for. I was relentless!

It did end as my spirit predicted. I received the tickets even though everything about the broker seemed shady and a positive result unlikely. Decades later, I’m still curious about this event. Was the intuitive message sent to motivate me to act, to not feel hopeless or would I have received the tickets no matter how I approached this situation? I still wonder…

Have you had an intuitive experience that proved correct whether you listened to or not? PLEASE, share.


Stairway to Heaven, Reprise

stairway to heaven, repriseI’ve been writing many posts about my mother’s “appearances” since her death. She has been busy communicating in various ways from the heavens.  These posts Stairway to Heaven, The Mother LodePennies Not Dimes From Heaven, Treasure! That’s What You Are!, Look Mom, I Won The Lottery! document her escapades. While the stories happened two years old, my blogging about them recently has made her “reappear”.

A day or so after I posted Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin decided to sing the song to me thru my car radio. Being the generous singer that he is I heard it twice on the same day. The next day, just in case I missed it the first time, I heard Stairway to Heaven, once again.

Standing alone, I believe this is a mystical event but what makes it even more special is that I’m not a regular car radio listener. If the radio is on it’s on scan. The timing had to be perfect! And so it was!

Look Mom, I Won the Lottery!


LotteryTwo years after my mother died, I wanted a fun way to acknowledge her birthday. It had to be something simple, something fun, something easy, and something I did on my own. After creating my brainstorm list, one idea hit the mark!

In life, my mother was a HUGE fan of lottery scratch tickets. Something I often and happily judged and made fun of her for. I had no idea why it was so appealing. Most likely she wouldn’t win anything and it was messy….all those little bits of black, waxy, scraps all over her shirt. I can only guess that she felt excited gambling. Maybe she daydreamed of striking it rich. Maybe it was an opportunity to make an ordinary or boring day thrilling. For whatever reason, she was wwaaaayyy into it!

In honor of her birthday and obsession, I decided to buy one scratch lottery ticket for the month, day, century, and year she was born. Buying the one that correlated with her month cost a dollar so I bought two tickets. Seventeen is her birthdate and this lottery ticket cost twenty dollars. I couldn’t justify paying twenty dollars for a lottery scratch ticket. I knew I would need to suck it up, eventually, since this was the agreement I made to honor her birthday, but not quite yet. I moved onto buying the lottery scratch tickets for her century and last two digits of her year. I pushed them into my bag and returned to the list of errands on my To Do list.

With my errands finished, I got busy eagerly scratching the lottery tickets.  I scratched the tickets that represented the month she was born. I won nothing, nada, zip, zero. I did think she was being unfair! I mean my mother is in heaven… can’t she just make me a bit of a winner for fun…. jeez.

I scratched another ticket and again nothing. Since my mother has “appeared” so often after her death (her appearances are chronicled in Stairway to Heaven, Dimes Not Pennies from Heaven, Treasure! That’s What You Are! posts), I thought she would love this idea and play along. But she wasn’t playing along.

After I won nothing from the ticket that represented her century, I decided to “yell” at her. Mind you, I’m sitting in the car in a strip mall parking lot having this experience….and I yell something like “jeez ma, really, I’m not going to win anything!” She was listening to my pleas because I won ten dollars on the next tix. Exciting!

Still needing to buy a ticket that represented her birthdate, I drove to the nearest 7/11 and used the ten dollars I won to buy the final ticket. Things were beginning to improve because in this store, her birthdate ticket number was only ten dollars not twenty like in the first store.

As I scratched the last ticket, I won ten dollars and then ten more dollars, and then another ten, and another…. Woo Hoo! Next, an X appeared instead of number. If you get an X you can double your winnings. My winnings were doubled! The last number was the bonus number … as I scratched it uncovering the number beneath…another winner. I won about 300.00!

Thanks, Mom!

And Happy Birthday! 😉


This entry was posted on March 16, 2017. 1 Comment

Treasure! That’s What You Are!

treasure-box-332785__480My deceased mother wasn’t finished using the car radio to connect as I meandered North. She had another musical message to communicate. In my post, Stairway to Heaven, my mother uses “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” by Bob Dylan to applaud a joke and reveal that she was with me.

While listening to Dylan sing, I had a moment feeling her communicate to me and reflect on the joke I shared with my coworker. I felt light, happy, and simultaneously connected to the spirit and non-spirit worlds. I savored the words as the song played. Smiling and laughing aloud when it finished.

In that flicker of silence between songs, it felt exciting and fun to understand Shakespeare’s quote “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio/than are dreamt up in your philosophy.”

Her musical communication was continuing. The next song was one of my favorites. The kind of favorite where everything stops so I can sing and dance along whether I’m cooking or driving or having a drink on my porch with friends. I run to the radio and turn up the volume.  A childhood friend of mine, once told me that whenever he hears this song he thinks of me.

This musical moment was also a way for my mother to do something in death that she didn’t do in life. Be supportive and kind to me. As her dementia slowly took over her brain, she no longer lived from her righteousness, anger, and judgement. In a conversation where she was trying to identify me as her daughter, she said, “You are the one I took all my anger at my mother out on.” YES, she did!

But in death, there is only love. So, she followed up with a song I love with words of love. Bruno Mar’s “Treasure” flooded my car with sound. And they, Bruno and my mother told me-


Give me all, give me all, give me all your attention baby
I got to tell you a little something about yourself
You’re wonderful, flawless, oh you’re a sexy lady
But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else

I know that you don’t know it, but you’re fine, so fine
Oh girl I’m gonna show you when you’re mine, oh mine

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you’re my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl you should be smiling
A girl like you should never live so blue
You’re everything I see in my dreams
I wouldn’t say that to you if it wasn’t true

I know that you don’t know it, but you’re fine, so fine
Oh girl I’m gonna show you when you’re mine, oh mine

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you’re my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you’re my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you


© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.


This entry was posted on March 10, 2017. 1 Comment

Not Pennies but Dimes from Heaven

No Pennies but Dimes from HeavenI can’t remember if I was coming home or leaving home but I was stopped by the sight of a dime sitting on my bright orange kitchen table. I couldn’t figure out why it was there because I never leave change around. I spent a few seconds pondering how it got there; quickly deciding that it wasn’t a serious problem that required my solving in that moment or ever. As I picked it up to place it in my change purse, I couldn’t take my eyes from its shine. I held it in my palm gazing and saying to myself this is the shiniest dime I have ever seen; feeling equal parts mesmerized and bewildered by this shiny dime. And then carried on with my life as if it never happened.

Until it happened again, maybe it was a week later or a month later but the same exact moment reoccurred. Another random dime found on the orange table, followed by my confusion, and then the wonder at how shiny a dime it was. Briefly I tried to make sense of it. Then never thought about it again until…

Months later with an open mind, I arrived at my appointment to visit a medium, a person who communicates with dead people. Throughout the enjoyable hour of hearing true and funny stories about my mother who died in the spring, she told me that my mother was saying that she had been leaving me dimes.

I explained to the confident medium that I had yet to be left dimes. During the reading, I had no memory of my dime discoveries and would never have made a connection to the passing of my mother and her leaving me actual dimes on a real table anyway.

Driving home I joyfully replayed the anecdotes of my mother and pondered the likelihood of the glimpse into my future that the medium spoke of. When suddenly, I remembered the dimes. The. Dimes! The shiny mesmerizing and confusing dimes that were found on my kitchen table. The “culprit” was my deceased mother leaving me dimes…..not pennies….. from Heaven.

This entry was posted on March 7, 2017. 2 Comments

Stairway to Heaven

stairwaytoheavenI welcomed returning to work after the countless, stressful, and unfamiliar medical conversations and decisions that materialized with doctors, nurses, and family members to best create comfort for my mother as she moved closer to death. While we alternated timeframes to sit by her bedside; the return to normalcy was grounding as well as an opportunity to absorb this emotional life changing moment.

Seeking to lighten the mood and  infuse humor into the tense circumstances, I explained to my caring and concerned coworker that I switched any phone numbers connected to my mother’s care to a ring tone of “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” by Bob Dylan. (Although, I really hadn’t.)  Thinking I was hilarious and knowing my mother would appreciate the humor and creative problem solving during a tense life transition, my usually boisterous, fun filled coworker felt uncomfortable. I reassured her that all was well. Well, it was well enough given my mother’s failing health from her long-term illness.

Once the funeral arrangements were completed, the last of her belongs given to charity, paperwork signed, lawyers obligations fulfilled, family members and friends returned to their lives, I took a northern seacoast road trip. My ultimate destination a small, remote, and artsy island. The best place to process her death, her life, and the unpredicted questions and feelings that arise when a parent dies.

Comfortably driving for an hour or so with my snacks close by and a confluence of thoughts rambling thru an emotional maze of love, sadness, pride, and wonder, combined with the incongruous sensations that arise with the business of death (casket and clothing shopping, death’s financial responsibilities) I settled into the long drive with the quiet hum of the radio commercials, meaningless comments, and songs…….

….. and then I heard it. A song I haven’t heard in 20 years. Bob Dylan was singing “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”.  After the warm shock lessened, I settled in to listen and couldn’t help smiling knowing that my mother was playing my joke on me as she ascended the stairway to heaven.


This entry was posted on March 2, 2017. 3 Comments

The Mother Lode

motherlodeOnce the medical chaos, due to the copious heart wrenching decisions and urgent medical details were neatly wrapped up, I wearily resumed my consistent life which thankfully included a family vacation to paradise.

Sensing that I probably hadn’t seen my mother in a long time, I uneasily scrutinized the calendar.  With a heavy sign and a disapproving shake of my head I accepted the reality. It had been far too long. In that moment, I realized my resentment of her treatment of me was now leading my actions. Knowing that I didn’t want the resentment being the catalyst of my actions, I forcefully stuffed it down.

Opening to the intuitive sense and directive that visiting her was vital. She, my highest self, communicated by using a gentle pulsing body sensation that meant visit on Saturday.  My highest self, also included a time that had a 1 in it. I didn’t understand if it was 11:00am or 1:00pm but on the next Saturday I did as I was magically led.

Arriving at 130pm, I found her curled up in her nursing home chair unable to move freely or speak. Taking a deep reflective breath, I sat beside her and held her hand. She sensed someone near her and we held hands for 45 minutes. When she let go, I expressed my perspective to the caring medical staff.  We agreed that her body was preparing for death. Four days later she died.

Listening to her, my highest self, instead of my resentment was a loving, peaceful, and positive action……. for both my mother and myself. She is now emotionally and physically at peace.